Out Sick
by Mary Baader Kaley
She hasn’t felt her normal self in years. Different ailments toy with her body: pain behind her eyes, insomnia, stiff joints, IBS, vertigo. And now, how is she expected to go to Elise’s baby shower Sunday with a stuffy nose? She’s got to call Mom to break the news. The phone receiver feels heavy.
"Jessie, you can’t just stay home Sunday. Elise will never forgive you."
"Ma, I don’t think Elise will want me around. You’re not supposed to get pregnant people sick, y’know. What if I have mono?"
"She’s your sister, Jessie."
"I know. I bought a gift."
"That’s not the point! She was so mad when you left her wedding reception early."
"I had the stomach flu!"
Elise has always been Mom’s favorite. She finished college with honors, got married, and now she’s procreating. And Jessie is, well, not.
She was almost engaged once, but that doesn’t count.
Opening he laptop, she searches on "mononucleosis symptoms". The ear thermometer is positioned. Meep! Now the other ear. Meep! It’s probably defective, so she sticks the mercury thermometer under her tongue. She massages her temple and searches on "sniffles fatigue clogged ears" and then "lupus symptoms".
Maybe she should check her work email, but her head throbs a bit, so she searches on "congestion fatigue headache" and "migraine congestion fatigue", sipping coffee. Holding her breath, she types "symptoms of syphilis".
Exhales.
Tracing the pattern of her plaid pajama pants with her finger, she wonders if her boss got her "sick today" message. She clicks over to e-mail and sees his response. Her neck tingles as she reads it. He wants medical documentation for her excessive absences.
Her head shakes. Asshole! If he were sick, she’d feel sorry for him, and maybe offer to bring him some soup or send flowers. Her heart ka-thumps.
She remembers her last visit with Dr. Verint when he told her the MRI was clear and maybe she should see a counselor. "A shrink?" she exclaimed as she complained that the MRI tech was new. So what now? Find a new doctor? Ka-thump. Before Monday? Dr. Verint prescribed pills for her migraines, though. Maybe he’d sign the paperwork for that; it’s chronic, possibly neurological. If that’s not excusable, what is?
Taking a bite of her chocolate donut, she picks up the phone and speed-dials Dr. Verint, but hangs up before anyone answers. Ka-thump. Reaching for the ear thermometer once more, her left arm twangs. Meep! Meep! No fever, but maybe she should go to the hospital just to make sure it isn’t her heart. That might explain a lot.
The phone receiver rings in her lap. She sees Elise’s name on caller ID. Ka-thump.
"Hello, Elise."
"Jessie? You don’t sound so good."
"I’m okay."
"Hey, I wanted to ask you something before my surprise shower on Sunday."
"Who told you?"
"About the shower? C’mon, I’m not stupid. Anyway, I wanted to ask you, darling sister, if you would be my baby’s godmother. Please say yes!"
"Of course I will." She laughs. "I’m gonna spoil this kid, y’know."
As she hangs up, she tosses the rumpled Kleenex into the trash and presses the speed-dial. "Ma? Yah, can’t talk long because I’m getting ready for work. Uh, what time did you want me to pick you up on Sunday?"
End
Mary Baader Kaley is a mother of 3, has an M.A. in Counseling, and enjoys writing fiction and poetry. Her work can be found in Salome Magaine, The Shine Journal, and in an upcoming issue of Stymie Magazine.
