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Here's to Life!
by Gillian Scott
Becoming a Grandmother is an amazing experience and one that completely fills your heart with joy and unending delight. For me, it was also a time of lingering wistfulness that comes with the everlasting emotion of love. When I became a mother for the first and only time, I considered myself fortunate to have my mother's guiding hand and invaluable expertise so readily available. Apparently, my daughter is not of the same opinion! According to the latest child rearing trends, my parenting skills left a lot to be desired and were in much need of a make-over. Being one who rises to a challenge, I zealously set about learning these 'new found' ways in an effort to prove that occasionally, you can teach an 'old dog new tricks!' My beautiful grandson, so very worthy of the innumerable, "Oooh's and Ahhh's and Oh how lovelies" had unknowingly inspired me to become the best Grandmother I could be. Those heartfelt congratulations touched a chord where I felt compelled to prove that some of the 'outdated,' irrelevant ways could indeed still be relevant.
Thinking about parenting skills, did get me wondering as to what kind of a parent I had been. If indeed our outdated ways had been bad... how she did survive? My daughter's youthful, innocent remark had made me question the techniques I had learned from my own mother as she from hers. I didn't breast feed. I didn't even try in all honesty, it had looked too painful, and having just given birth, I wasn't about to undertake anything remotely close to physical discomfort ... On occasion yes, I had left her to cry but the so-called professionals had assured me that it strengthened baby's lungs and who was I to question the ethics of the professionals! The philosophy of today, is unquestionably different from what we 'old school' parents had been taught. For example; the pacifier a small but effective comforting 'nipple,' is apparently now considered taboo! There's also an apparent knack to burping which I didn't realize. My child had chronic colic, a side symptom of which meant she took forever to belch or fart. Bathing the baby now takes both parents, one to hold the baby's head while the other almost drowns it with a soaked sponge! All in all, an unforgettable jaw dropping experience! No-one can deny however, that I was there for the interminable two or three hour nightly feedings, wet diaper changes and numerous 'put me to sleep' lullabies! The endless hours of missed sleep (where I seriously considered slitting my wrists), were only comparable to playing a character from a 'Hitchcock' movie. Even putting the baby down for a nap was done differently. In my day, the baby was put on its stomach in case of choking! Not anymore, now you placed him on his back. No biggie, but what happened to the choking dilemma! I guess this newfangled generation of blessed babies don't choke, so that's good!
My daughter, whom I love desperately, was born twenty-seven years ago to a world devoid of the latest technical gadgets. Yikes you may say, and how could you not! Try to imagine a world without: Computers, I-pads, The Nook, and dare I even say it... the cell-phone, gasp! I know, I know, that thought alone has you grasping at your chest thinking how ridiculously inconceivable! We have adapted to a world of 'star trek gadgets' and space age ideas or risked being stranded in a bygone era, so I have slowly acquainted myself with this generation of vociferous offspring embracing their abundance of ideas. My journey of books,
pamphlets and informational tools has been quite astounding, and at least now a small part of me feels that I won't be left behind, an 'antiquated vintage classic,' the 'sweet old lady' who meant well but knew nothing! My willingness to embrace my daughter's pedantic doctrine has brought us closer, and that is pretty awesome! As hard as it is to be a parent, it is much harder to let go. Yet this beatific little boy with the cherubic cheeks has given us something more to share, boundless moments of pure pleasure and I now find myself 'happy as the day is long.' I do not consider myself old, but more attuned to a fine wine aged and offering a bouquet of boundless wisdom and a nosegay of gathered advice. My moments of 'happy-go-lucky, heedless nonchalance have become nothing more than a 'baby brain' fog and I relish the mist. I've earned my stripes, my gold badge and even the sword of excellence and I'm proud that I have raised her to be the awesome woman that she has become ... and I'm still here! The 'new found' bible on child rearing will no-doubt become as outdated as my generations and in time, without doubt, my 'outdated' suggestions will become hers.
With each new generation the inevitable new implementations on child rearing re-surface, leaving me to wonder if change is always necessarily for the good? The old adage, "why fix it when it's not broken" seems to no longer apply. Who's to say what is right or what is wrong when the so-called book of 'rules' continually changes, it makes me smile because at the end of the day it's inevitably up to the individual to decide just how much of a deep and emotional regard they impart to their offspring and I don't believe any scholastic book can teach you that. Now, when my eloquently informed, no-nonsense daughter matter-of-factly says, "Mom, you're doing it wrong" I find myself getting less and less upset. After all why should I? I never proclaimed that I didn't know 'shite' from 'shiloh' ... she had obviously just assumed!
Yes, I am ecstatic to be a Grandma! I am excited to be involved and a part of this new generation that carries my DNA! I love the word Grandma or Granny or Nanny. They are meaningful words that conjure up feelings of love, affection and appreciation. Words that elude to a past, present and future.
I smile as I think of all that lies ahead for my daughter and her son. I am sure I will watch her maneuver the paths of parenting with the same apprehension and excitement that we all as new parents do. But, the most compelling aspect of all... is that one day she will be me. So here's to life, love and the next generation!
